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The World's Ugliest Men

By Dorothy Anne Seese
[email protected]

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Somebody has to say it, so I'll volunteer.

The notorious, nefarious and dangerous Middle East men, including all the various terrorists captured, identified or pictured on news sites, are perhaps the ugliest men this world has ever seen!  They aren't just homely, like Don Knotts of Mayberry.  They aren't just unattractive or lacking any physical attributes of note, every terrrorist pictured has been an absolute genetic disaster when it comes to appearance.  These men aren't just terrorists, their very appearance is terrifying.

The Middle East terrorists have utterly redefined the word "ugly" to the point of making it nearly synonymous with "terrorist" or "terrifying."  And I do mean UGLY.

Maybe that's why they resort to terrorism.  Being born that ugly is pitiful and pathetic until they start blowing themselves up or blowing up buildings and ships.  Then their inner person is revealed as being as ugly as the outer shell or "earth suit" in which they navigate around this life.

And I'm not just picking on Arabs like Yassir Arafat, even though Bill Clinton and Al Gore actually looked handsome when Arafat was in the same photograph with them, and to me, neither Clinton nor Gore were candidates for a stint as James Bond in one of the unending series of 007 movies.  (Of course, James Bond to me will always be Sean Connery.)

Do any of you recall the 1980's photographs of Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini?  He would have terrified Count Dracula back into his coffin, lid down.  But not all Iranians are ugly, although they do have (by their own admission) distinctively large noses and deep-set dark eyes.  But the late Shah Reza Pahlavi was a respectably nice looking man, nose and all.  What happened in Iran after his exile and death?  Did they stone all the good looking males and bag up the attractive women in burquas?

General Musharrif of Pakistan has an appearance worthy of a general. He doesn't look insane, he isn't ugly, and if he is involved in terrorism, he isn't terrifying in his appearance. In fact, he could be called "very nice looking" and possessing a bearing befitting a general.  I conclude he isn't a genuine terrorist.  Some of the Pakistani terrorists whose faces have had a fleeting appearance on media, however, look like descendants of theYeti, just smaller in stature.

One of the better looking Israelis of our time is Benjamin Netanyahu, far better looking than David ben Gurion if not as noteworthy.  When reading about the life and times of King David, from his victory over Goliath to his years of sorrowing for Absalom, it would be nice to think he looked something like Netanyahu.  Of course, we have no idea what David's appearance was, but it's hoped he bore no resemblance to his Arab "cousins" because most of them are just outrageously homely.

Perhaps that was one of Mohammed's motivating factors in founding Islam.  Other than being a womanizer and seeking power by unifying various nomadic Arab tribes, he may have had a spirit of revenge for an unusually terrifying physical appearance.  Anything is possible when it comes to some of these Middle Eastern people who have never moved out of the dark ages.

Of course, ugly is as ugly does in many cases.  Perhaps these terrorists deliberately intend to look as gruesome, hideous and terrifying as possible.  When they wear their traditional Middle Eastern middle ages garb (including the headgear that none dare call towels) they only add to the ugliness that is already exacerbated by scraggly beards,  moustaches that haven't been trimmed since the fourth century and the general appearance of being unwashed.

Dear old Osama (another Saudi by birth) has the appearance of both a madman and a human whose genetics included the ugly genes in large quantity.  He and the late Ayatollah Khomeini (who was neither Arabic nor of Semitic descent) seemed to have discovered a way to make the eyes look like the personification of evil and terror.

Apparently there is no rehab program at Camp X-ray at Guantanamo.  It would seem reasonable to conclude, from studying the photographs of these creatures, that if they were given electric shock therapy, daily baths, western haircuts, shaved faces (moustaches and all) and any necessary cosmetic surgery, they might be so pleased with their new features that they would utterly give up the idea of strapping sticks of dynamite to themselves and blowing up everyone around them along with destroying their own ugly faces.

The problem child in all this is Saddam Hussein.  He just isn't all that ugly.  In fact, he isn't ugly at all until one recalls he is "the butcher of Baghdad."  He has a mental problem, apparently, derived from his Nebuchadnezzar complex and hatred of Israel.  But as far as being in the same ugliness camp with Khomeini or bin Laden, he's a poster boy for Middle Eastern males.  He doesn't even look as evil as he has proven himself to be with his whackem and stackem policies toward his enemies, real or imagined.

The late Nehru of India was also a fine looking man.  He wasn't as good looking as my primary care physician, a man about forty who was born in Punjab, a Hindu, and an excellent doctor.  (Hey, I can admire, it's okay at my age.)  I'm certain there are numerous males in India who bear no resemblance either to Nehru or my doctor, but they don't make our media photo ops because they aren't engaging in terrorism.  At least, not against the United States.

Maybe this is the real battle between the East and West.  The West tends to produce better looking males and in most cases, females.  So our women shamelessly display it all, while in the Sharia law nations they toss bags over their women, probably so they don't have to look at them.  But the males still have to look at each other.  What an incentive to start using dynamite.

Perhaps it would expedite the peace process (an imaginary process at best) if the United States offered to improve the physical appearance of Middle Eastern men and women by providing cosmetic surgery or whatever else would help these sorry creatures to look like decent human beings.

Is it worth a try?  We throw money at various useless projects by the billions anyway, why not try a beautification program for people whose genetics have created barbaric killers?

Of course, they could counter this proposal by reminding us that Michael Jackson is an American ... then what do we say?



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