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My
last column, (
We Need New Gun Laws [2/19]), elicited an enormous amount of
email. The majority of letters were readers writing to say they
were glad I am OK after the robbery (my cockles were warmed),
although more than a few ended with the same question:
What are you doing watching Survivor?
This was curious to me. I began to wonder what would have
happened if I got shot and killed during that robbery. Would the
police be standing over my chalk outlined body saying what a
shame it is and then ask aloud, "It's February, what in the
world was he thinking wearing beige pants?"
OK, I'm getting off subject here. Yes, I watch Survivor.
Like many of you, I avoided Survivor at first. It smelled like
Fad-TV to me. Anytime a television show gets wildly popular I
insist on staying away, as I am positive it's geared toward the
mentally challenged masses and will not tickle my intellect in
the slightest. My thought process is that if Jerry Springer and
the WWF stay on television and they cancel a show like Homicide;
Life on the Street, the television executives do not want me as
a viewer. I assumed it was just another version of The Real
World with everyone trying to figure out who is going to
sleep with whom. Why would I waste my time on their newest
tripe?
I was wrong about Survivor.
I caught my first episode of Survivor while visiting some
relatives. To my surprise, I found it to be good television.
Within a half hour or so, I was sucked in. Let me explain to you
why...
No Celebrities = Good television
While some of the contestants of the first season have gone
on to become world famous Chapstick spokespersons, the show is
not designed to be a vehicle for actors to become famous. The
contestants may shtick it up for the cameras a bit, but when the
red light goes on, they are pretty close to being the same
people they were when the red light was off.
You will not see these contestants on interview shows describing
the depth of their character or explaining how they desire to
explore the character further. I cannot imagine the ornery old
coot, Rudy, from the first season being interviewed and asked
:'Who is Rudy?' An actor would spit out some sort of namby-pamby
drivel like,"Rudy is a complex person. He may be gruff and
somewhat homophobic on the outside, but inside he is warm and
caring and really looking for the love his father never gave
him." Had Rudy been asked this same ridiculous question, I
am sure his response would have been along the lines of,
"Get away from me, ya queer." This is how real people
talk and think. Try and get that type of response out of Demi
Moore.
The
Island = Libertarian paradise
While
the island may be a primitive setting, it gives us a rough
working model for a libertarian society.
You have 16 contestants, and all of them start out with nothing.
As they move forward with the contest they all try to gain
status within the community. If you enter in with a bad attitude
and/or bad social skills you are quickly eliminated. Friendship
and loyalty will buy you time, but in the end you are rewarded
for what you bring to the table. He who provides the most value,
wins the prize.
The winner from the first season, Richard Hatch, survived not
because he was charming or deserved pity, he won because he
brought the most to the table and worked the system the best.
This is how life works. You provide society with food,
entertainment or some other value and you will thrive, if you
sit around the house watching Springer and eating government
cheese sandwiches, you will suffer.
There is no welfare system on Survivor. For the tribe to survive
it needs the work of its members, and the members work out of
the need for self preservation. Each one wants to out-survive
the others. They do that by keeping the others belly's full with
food, providing shelter so the beds stay dry or keeping the
bonfire burning to keep everyone warm. While each is trying to
butter their own bread, the tribe's well being is reliant on
this self survival instinct. The strongest tribe will
inevitably be the one who has the most members who understand
this concept. This is libertarianism at it's core: I survive by
helping you survive.
The Freedom to Hate
Unlike television shows such as Friends or Frasier,
you are free to hate a cast member and continue to enjoy the
show. You can root for their demise. This season I am rooting
for the elimination of Kimmi, the vegetarian bartender (and to a
lesser degree the out of work actress, Jerri, because I half
expect her to describe herself as a 'character' as illustrated
in the Rudy example above). Last week's episode involved the
hunting of a pig with nothing but a knife (now that was
impressive), and Kimmi started crying and had to go and 'take a
walk.'
Much like the way our society should be, Survivor has no room
for an emotional cripple. There is no therapy on the island (OK,
I know it's not an island this time), or any 12 step programs to
help you with your 'emotional well-being.' It's about
integrating yourself within the societal structure. Kimmi is
failing. She hasn't provided any value to the tribe or
particularly charmed anyone and as a result, she will not
survive. I don't have anything against vegetarians (I married
one), I just don't like people who enter into a situation and
act as if everyone should respect her wishes because she is
"special." Her wishes mean squat to everyone else,
it's put up or shut up. I will root for her elimination this
week. She can then return to New York and be treated as
"special" as she demands to be by the same people who
would respect the wishes of NAMBLA members if given the chance.
Good Riddance.
Expect the Unexpected
Unlike the rest of television during sweeps month, Survivor
doesn't require any one to become pregnant, discover their own
homosexuality, or any other run of the mill storyline to keep
you interested. Each and every episode provides you with
insights to the scheming and planning going on between the
contestants, but not enough that you can accurately predict how
it is all going to play out. Every episode keeps you guessing.
I wish there were more shows like Survivor on television. Any
programming which allows me to simultaneously watch the screen
and have to think through the events as they happen is worth an
hour a week. It's a mystery with no predictable ending.
So, yes I watch Survivor. It represents life as I see it. It is
without celebrity appeal and without a story line. Events are
unscripted and the characters are people I actually believe in.
People struggling to survive one more day, with a hope to break
through and come out on top. I watch Survivor because I think,
on some level, we are all Survivors, each one of us struggling
and hoping to come out on top.
That and I want to figure out who is going to sleep with whom.
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Survivor
II: The Field Guide
by Mark Burnett
101
Survival Secrets: How to Win $1,000,000, Lose 100 Pounds, and
Just Plain Live Happily
by Richard Hatch
Reagan,
In His Own Hand: The Writings of Ronald Reagan That
Reveal His Revolutionary Vision for America
Founding Brothers : The
Revolutionary Generation
by Joseph J. Ellis
Smashmouth: Two Years in the
Gutter with Al Gore and George W. Bush
by Dana Milbank
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