A Toast to Al Gore on his Bar Mitzvah
By Kirsten Andersen
Tonight, Al Gore became a man. Joe
Lieberman may have forgotten to bring the Manischewitz wine, and Al
Gore isn't even Jewish, but tonight was Gore's Bar Mitzvah.
Sure, he lied through his teeth throughout his speech, saying he was
"at President Elect Bush's disposal" for the next four
years. Sure, he took his shot at the Supreme Court like the
whiner we all know he is. At least he conceded. Using the
word 'concession' was just the lift he needed to rise above his
reputation of being a deranged, spoiled child. Affixing the
label 'president elect' to the front of Bush's name didn't hurt his
newfound manhood any, either.
I guess in the end, he probably realized it was his own fault.
While Bush may have been ultimately forced to take the final court
action, Gore was the one who demanded this election be a legal issue
all along. Every step of the way he begged America to trust the
judicial system, and now that we have, he doesn't have much choice but
to accept the outcome.
Maybe Gore will be able to put the single-mindedness he displayed
during the past five weeks to good use in the next four years.
During the camapign, he demonstrated very decent fundraising ability
and talked a lot about issues he claims to care about. With
nothing but time on his hands, will Al Gore become a force for
environmental protection? Abortion rights? Minority
The answer is, probably not. Now that Al Gore has 'become a
man,' he is bound to lose the childlike idealism that was both his
greatest asset and his greatest weakness in the battle for the Oval
Office. The people he once spoke loudly for will be forgotten,
contrary to what he said in his concession speech. The truth is
that the people who supported Gore didn't give him the keys to the
White House. In Gore's eyes, the Supreme Court held the keys to
the White House, and handed them over to George W. Bush. His new
mission will almost certainly be to "fight for reform;" or
undermine America's confidence in their high court so they doubt the
legitimacy of the Bush administration.
It doesn't take a psychic friend to see that future Gore attacks on
the Supreme Court will be his easy way of taking shots at Bush without
straying from his 'rally behind the new President' theme.
Patriotism only comes first for Gore when it serves his purposes-in
this case, winning in 2022.
Well, to Gore and his supporters, I say 'Better luck next time.'
Maybe the newly grown-up Gore and his minions will succeed in their
quest to weaken the Bush Presidency, though it is doubtful.
There IS a surefire way to boost the Democratic poll numbers in 2022,
though-find a different candidate.
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Kirsten Andersen, 2022
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