Last
week, HBO star Sarah Jessica Parker voiced her concerns about a Bush
Presidency: "I'm worried about the kind of cuts he might make in
domestic programs that mean something to a lot of people, including
people in my family who depend on certain things from the
government."
This leads me to wonder how Hollywood types get so damned informed on
such intricacies of our government. I've never been to Hollywood. The
only knowledge I have of it came from watching television. You know,
the stereotypical Hollywood stuff: Cocktail parties where they all
gossip about each others wardrobes, lots of "call my girl"
types of appointments, booze, sex and drugs. All the stuff that makes
me want to live there.
It's a shame that we never see the real Hollywood. The Hollywood where
people not only make cinematic masterpieces for us to cry, think or
laugh (hey, remember when Ernest went to jail? That killed.), they
spend countless hours studying the Constitution. The Hollywood where
they discuss the minute details about capitalist economies into the
wee hours of the night. The Hollywood where they have dinner parties
where the conversation is dominated by discussions of how to handle
the Middle East peace process. This is the Hollywood we should all
see.
Now, I'm just a working slob. I have a new baby to care for and bills
piling up and I used to bellyache about my taxes. If I only knew that
my tax dollars were going to support the families of millionaire movie
stars who want to make life easier for me. These movie stars want to
help us keep our government in check. They want to make sure that our
government will spend our money on the right things and on the right
causes. All this and they make movies, too.
Ms. Parker has a reported net worth of $30 million dollars. I'm
thinking that maybe she is underpaid. She entertains us weekly on her
HBO show, she has made several movies, she understands aspects of our
government that us common folk could never comprehend. I think it's a
shame that some of her family members may be without some governmental
support. We should get a petition together to ask President-elect Bush
to make exceptions to these cuts so her family would be taken care of.
Maybe we should start a collection. Something needs to be done.
We could hire Sally Struthers to star in some commercials showing how
hard it is for these family members of celebrities. Without the
government's help, these people are forced to eat domestic caviar.
Their coats are faux fur. They have to cook their own meals. Can we
let them continue to live this way? I'm figuring we can improve their
situations for a mere $612 a day. (That's less then your average
Hollywood coke habit)
If we want to help we need to start now, before Washington makes any
cuts. Hollywood gives us so much, we should give something back. Think
about all the time they save us. We don't need to read the Wall Street
Journal or search the Internet for political insight, we can just tune
into Entertainment Tonight and get all the political knowledge we
need. Can you put a price tag on Barbara Streisand's views on gun
control? What about Susan Sarandon's views on sexual harassment? Where
would be without Rob Reiner's expertise on properly establishing a
democracy in a third world country? I'd tell you, but I have to go out
learn about school vouchers for a future column and Rosie O'Donnell's
show starts in five minutes.
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