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I have been sort of confused lately. I
have been doing a lot of research using feminist websites for
this series, and I was expecting to find a lot of information on
women and their issues and ideas. Instead, I have found
pretty much nothing but a lot of talk about men--most of it not
exactly appreciative.
If you visit the NOW website (www.now.org), you will see
firsthand exactly what I am talking about. Paranoid quotes
like "all men are latent rapists" and "we must
destroy the patriarchal culture" abound on the site, but
more surprising is the lack of validation of women. If you
believe the NOW girls, women are little more than pathetic
victims of a primitive and evil culture of violent, misogynist,
would-be rapists.
I believe women are much more than that, but I do not think that
particular view needs explanation. If you cannot figure
it out for yourself, then you certainly need more help than I
can offer in 650 words. I do, however, want to address the
intense hatred of men expressed not only by NOW, but throughout
society.
Forgetting for a moment the lunatics at NOW, I would like you to
think of everyone’s favorite medium, the television.
When was the last time you saw a (heterosexual) man positively
portrayed on a fictional TV show? My honest answer would
have to be, "I can’t remember." Even sweet,
caring, adorable Bailey on FOX’s long-canceled "Party of
Five" was a raging alcoholic. And sexy, smart Fox
Mulder on "The X Files" of the same network was
getting so respectable they had him abducted by aliens!
For the most part, television and other media
depict heterosexual men as loathsome creatures who cheat on
their wives and girlfriends, drink too much beer, laze around
while women do all of the work, and are generally total
a--holes. Are there men like this? Of course!
They are the ones that feminists are so busy worshipping (read:
Bill Clinton) that they do not notice the other, better
men...which is just as well. Whiny, victim-y women do not
deserve good men.
Just where are these good men, you ask? Look around you!
A lesson learned (whether it is through real life experience or
TV) does not have to make you jaded. I am a fairly typical
twenty-something (in some ways). I never attended a
single-gender school, and I am a pretty outgoing and social
person, so I have some experience with the opposite sex. I
have had good relationships, bad relationships, close platonic
friends, ‘special’ friends, male roommates, guys I hated,
guys I loved, one night flings--a decent range of coeducational
interaction.
Of all the men I have ever met (Ever MET! That has to be
thousands!), I can truly say that only two or three were
actually bad guys. I cannot say that a lot of them did not
piss me off, or treat me badly, or act like jerks, but I cannot
say those things about myself, either! Everyone acts like
an idiot once in a while.
Feminists are doing themselves a disservice by constantly
bashing men. For one thing, I suspect it may be hard for
them to get dates, but on a less superficial level, the old
adage, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with
vinegar," still applies. If feminists truly wanted
men to be gentle, kind, and trustworthy, they should try being
those things themselves. All the shrieking, name-calling,
and lying in the world is not going to advance their cause one
iota--instead of ‘taming’ men, they will provoke them.
After all, ladies…do you like to be screamed at and lied
about?
I didn’t think so.
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