Last
          week, HBO star Sarah Jessica Parker voiced her concerns about a Bush
          Presidency: "I'm worried about the kind of cuts he might make in
          domestic programs that mean something to a lot of people, including
          people in my family who depend on certain things from the
          government."
          
          This leads me to wonder how Hollywood types get so damned informed on
          such intricacies of our government. I've never been to Hollywood. The
          only knowledge I have of it came from watching television. You know,
          the stereotypical Hollywood stuff: Cocktail parties where they all
          gossip about each others wardrobes, lots of "call my girl"
          types of appointments, booze, sex and drugs. All the stuff that makes
          me want to live there.
          
          It's a shame that we never see the real Hollywood. The Hollywood where
          people not only make cinematic masterpieces for us to cry, think or
          laugh (hey, remember when Ernest went to jail? That killed.), they
          spend countless hours studying the Constitution. The Hollywood where
          they discuss the minute details about capitalist economies into the
          wee hours of the night. The Hollywood where they have dinner parties
          where the conversation is dominated by discussions of how to handle
          the Middle East peace process. This is the Hollywood we should all
          see.
          
          Now, I'm just a working slob. I have a new baby to care for and bills
          piling up and I used to bellyache about my taxes. If I only knew that
          my tax dollars were going to support the families of millionaire movie
          stars who want to make life easier for me. These movie stars want to
          help us keep our government in check. They want to make sure that our
          government will spend our money on the right things and on the right
          causes. All this and they make movies, too.
          
          Ms. Parker has a reported net worth of $30 million dollars. I'm
          thinking that maybe she is underpaid. She entertains us weekly on her
          HBO show, she has made several movies, she understands aspects of our
          government that us common folk could never comprehend. I think it's a
          shame that some of her family members may be without some governmental
          support. We should get a petition together to ask President-elect Bush
          to make exceptions to these cuts so her family would be taken care of.
          Maybe we should start a collection. Something needs to be done.
          
          We could hire Sally Struthers to star in some commercials showing how
          hard it is for these family members of celebrities. Without the
          government's help, these people are forced to eat domestic caviar.
          Their coats are faux fur. They have to cook their own meals. Can we
          let them continue to live this way? I'm figuring we can improve their
          situations for a mere $612 a day. (That's less then your average
          Hollywood coke habit)
          
          If we want to help we need to start now, before Washington makes any
          cuts. Hollywood gives us so much, we should give something back. Think
          about all the time they save us. We don't need to read the Wall Street
          Journal or search the Internet for political insight, we can just tune
          into Entertainment Tonight and get all the political knowledge we
          need. Can you put a price tag on Barbara Streisand's views on gun
          control? What about Susan Sarandon's views on sexual harassment? Where
          would be without Rob Reiner's expertise on properly establishing a
          democracy in a third world country? I'd tell you, but I have to go out
          learn about school vouchers for a future column and Rosie O'Donnell's
          show starts in five minutes.
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