Kirsten Andersen

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Shrill Feminists Hurt Their Own Cause
It even makes it hard for them to find dates

By Kirsten Andersen
[email protected]

3/5/2001

 

I have been sort of confused lately.  I have been doing a lot of research using feminist websites for this series, and I was expecting to find a lot of information on women and their issues and ideas.  Instead, I have found pretty much nothing but a lot of talk about men--most of it not exactly appreciative.

If you visit the NOW website (www.now.org), you will see firsthand exactly what I am talking about.  Paranoid quotes like "all men are latent rapists" and "we must destroy the patriarchal culture" abound on the site, but more surprising is the lack of validation of women.  If you believe the NOW girls, women are little more than pathetic victims of a primitive and evil culture of violent, misogynist, would-be rapists.

I believe women are much more than that, but I do not think that particular view needs explanation.  If you cannot figure it out for yourself, then you certainly need more help than I can offer in 650 words.  I do, however, want to address the intense hatred of men expressed not only by NOW, but throughout society.

Forgetting for a moment the lunatics at NOW, I would like you to think of everyone’s favorite medium, the television.  When was the last time you saw a (heterosexual) man positively portrayed on a fictional TV show?  My honest answer would have to be, "I can’t remember."  Even sweet, caring, adorable Bailey on FOX’s long-canceled "Party of Five" was a raging alcoholic.  And sexy, smart Fox Mulder on "The X Files" of the same network was getting so respectable they had him abducted by aliens!

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For the most part, television and other media depict heterosexual men as loathsome creatures who cheat on their wives and girlfriends, drink too much beer, laze around while women do all of the work, and are generally total a--holes.  Are there men like this?  Of course!  They are the ones that feminists are so busy worshipping (read: Bill Clinton) that they do not notice the other, better men...which is just as well.  Whiny, victim-y women do not deserve good men.

Just where are these good men, you ask?  Look around you!  A lesson learned (whether it is through real life experience or TV) does not have to make you jaded.  I am a fairly typical twenty-something (in some ways).  I never attended a single-gender school, and I am a pretty outgoing and social person, so I have some experience with the opposite sex.  I have had good relationships, bad relationships, close platonic friends, ‘special’ friends, male roommates, guys I hated, guys I loved, one night flings--a decent range of coeducational interaction.

Of all the men I have ever met (Ever MET!  That has to be thousands!), I can truly say that only two or three were actually bad guys.  I cannot say that a lot of them did not piss me off, or treat me badly, or act like jerks, but I cannot say those things about myself, either!  Everyone acts like an idiot once in a while.

Feminists are doing themselves a disservice by constantly bashing men.  For one thing, I suspect it may be hard for them to get dates, but on a less superficial level, the old adage, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar," still applies.  If feminists truly wanted men to be gentle, kind, and trustworthy, they should try being those things themselves.  All the shrieking, name-calling, and lying in the world is not going to advance their cause one iota--instead of ‘taming’ men, they will provoke them.  After all, ladies…do you like to be screamed at and lied about?

I didn’t think so.

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© Kirsten Andersen, 2001

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